He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
