you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
