I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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