I think I died a long time ago.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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