She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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