Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
