For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
