I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
