he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
