U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
