dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
