I look better un-naked...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
