I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
