you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
