i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize