my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize