these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
