she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
