home. puking in laundry basket.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
