You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So much rum. So many feels.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
