i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
