i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He kissed a someone with a penis
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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