Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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