she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
