I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
