Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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