You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
