I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
