if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
