Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dignity is for republicans.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
