I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
