I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I need to align my fucking chakras
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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