So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
