Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
They have beer where we have blood.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
