I want you more than these girls want KFC
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
