Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
