too bad you live with your parents still
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
