Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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