Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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