Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
