Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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