How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
