Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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