At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I love you.
Bad choice
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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