You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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