That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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