I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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