grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh god it's open bar.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
