once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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