Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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