fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
