you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
