That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
