I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
