Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize