If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize