Sry I called you an 8
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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