When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
