FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize