If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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