in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
