Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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