So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
