Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
