One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
